This time tomorrow I will be well on my way to the airport! The good luck messages and phone calls are starting to flood in from my online and offline friends and family. I’m starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by my pending adventure and with the love and support that I can feel around me. I even have the offer of some virtual hands on my backside (thanks Gary, Jane and Betty!) when I need them for that final push to the summit. The fundraising total is ever rising, close to £4000 raised for Sparks Childrens Charity and it feels like an emotional time……only literally hours away from the adventure of a lifetime starting.
The Sparks team’s trip to climb Kilimanjaro has been well publicised and the hype has been growing for months – you’d have to have been living in a cave to escape the fact that this trip is happening.
I’m not great at being the centre of attention or taking compliments – I never have been – although I think I probably hide it quite well. So I struggle a little bit to accept it when people say things like ‘I’m in awe of what you are doing’ or ‘you inspire me’ because I guess I don’t feel worthy of such praise.
With that in mind you won’t be surprised to hear that this post started life in a ‘You will all soon realise I’m nothing special’ stylie, or that I feel like a girl ‘wearing her Mum’s shoes’
When I signed up to climb this mountain I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, but trying to distract myself from something that hurt…..and then, somewhere along the line it became the most amazing experience of my life, children aside of course.
This challenge has been like a voyage of self discovery. I know that sounds really cheesy, but it truly has been. I have found a new body, new confidence, a new inner strength – but most significantly I have found new friendships and through them – well, actually through most of you that are reading this…..I found out that actually I’m alright. I must be. I wouldn’t have the support, backing, messages of support and have raised as much money as I have if I wasnt. I can’t believe I had to sign up to climb the highest mountain in the world to find that out.
So in the midst of writing an ‘I’m not worthy’ blog the penny has finally dropped. Hallelujah. Out of the breakdown came the breakthrough.
I’m not incredible and I don’t always get it right. There are things in my past that I’d rather you didn’t know about me. Actually, I dont imagine I am any different to most of you, aside from the fact that one day I decided I fancied climbing a mountain and I signed on the line.
So, I’m going to climb this mountain – I leave tomorrow. I’m going to enjoy every step and I’m going to (hopefully!!!) stand on the top and cry my eyes out at reaching my goal. I think its going to be the most amazing experience and I bet I come back different somehow. It will be interesting to see how this experience changes me and the direction I choose for myself.
Thank you, from the heart. Thank you for being part of my journey. Thank you for the emotional and financial support, the cards, the gifts and most of all for being my friends.
My bag is packed and I have a small list of things that I need to do tomorrow. The stress from earlier in the week has pretty much evaporated, my eye has cleared up, the amazing Dave at Unity5 has retrieved the data from my MacBook and Lukasz has spent ages updating my iPod with the new music I recently downloaded. My work handover is almost down and actually……I think I’m ready!
Tonight is dinner with my parents and my children – and then a night watching Star Wars eating ice-cream with my Son. Big cuddles with the kids, 1 more sleep and I am off.
Can’t wait to tell you all about it when I get back.
Much love Sarah 🙂
ps. It was -37 at the top of Kilimanjaro last week.